Cleaning out my space and recharging my batteries annually is a practice for me as the New Year approaches. As the end was beginning to wrap up, I could feel deep within me it was time to re-read two of my fav-o-favs by Tosha Silver: Outrageous Openness: Letting the Devine Take the Lead and Change Me Prayers: The Hidden Power of Spiritual Surrender.
By re-reading, I mean opening up my Audible app and listening to Tosha speak to me on the ride to and from school. Her casual, comfortable tone has her sitting right next to me in the front seat of my car; and for the next six days, I thoroughly enjoy and look forward to venturing out each morning in the cold.
Tosha’s message is very simple: Offer it up. Let the Big Guy take over; or as Tosha writes, “She”. This shift in my daily prayers has transformed everything for me. Despite my pretending I am not, I am a multi-tasker. An over-planner. An obnoxious “To Do List” maker. A payer of attention to too many details. A people pleaser. And though it’s hard to write, a self- sabotager (at times), typically I am very, very kind to myself.
Having had cancer, I want to prove to myself that I can still “Do”. The lesson the cancer has taught me, however, is I’m not supposed to keeping “Doing”, I’m supposed to slow it down. While that lesson immediately came through for me loud and clear, it’s hard to practice for me. The ego takes over is what it comes down to. I have to keep that ego in check and that’s where letting Devine take the lead is my saving grace. Slowing down was very easy to practice at first while I was home recuperating; but as the months and years pass by, getting sucked into the vortex of “Doing” and going and planning and making things happen like everyone else, just happens.
I cannot begin to tell you how liberating letting God take-over is. Have fun with what you ask of Him. Be playful, yet intentional. It’s not about being passive and you will learn that in the book. Tosha gracefully and comically answers any questions you may have within her pages.
When I wake and when I walk into my classroom each day, I become overwhelmed with the many things that need to be taken care of. I first thank God for the day and for my good health that allows me to move through the day with my healthy body, independent of anyone (except Him of course).
At school, I thank Him for the job I have, all of the students I get to spend the day with, and the supportive teachers, administration, and parents I have this school year. I then ask to be led to only what needs to be done. I ask to be shown the way to only that which is essential in the unfolding of the day.
I am amazed every day! Ironically, not much on the “To Do” list gets done and I find it didn’t need to be done. I am easily led to what is most important and to things I wasn’t event thinking of. My body just moves and I follow it giggling, “Oh yeah, thank you for that!”.