It takes patience. It takes courage. It takes clarity and purpose. It takes a smile. It takes being honest with yourself and having good intentions. It takes believing all will be well deep, deep within your soul all the way down to the tips of your toes. And most importantly, it takes being grateful for every little ounce of everything in your world. It’s about being conscious.
A few years back I was having a tooth pulled for the first time; a wisdom tooth to be exact. I had no qualms about it. I knew it would be easy. I saw myself in and out and in good health afterward. I had meditated on it and felt really strong.
When my neighbor found out what I was getting ready to do, she laughed at me for taking it in stride and even called to her husband, “Hey, Jenn’s going to get a tooth pulled and she thinks she’s going to be ok!” They both laughed.
With this, I was a bit confused, but on her suggestion, I asked my daughter to come with me so she could drive me home afterward. Afterall, my neighbor told me I would be in no shape to do so myself.
My dentist, whom I’ve been going to since I was 9, allowed my daughter to watch the whole procedure since she was going into the healthcare profession. It was a great experience for all. He walked me through every step, joked as usual, and ten minutes later with no swelling I popped out of the chair and headed for home without any discomfort whatsoever.
I didn’t need my daughter to drive me home, although I let her; and she got a free lesson in a surgical procedure that would have cost a fortune in dental school.
I’ve gotten a whole lot better at not allowing other people’s experiences and energies not affect my world, but they certainly do come fast and furious at us if we’re not paying attention.
Our self-talk is the creator of our universe. It is the voice of our heart, mind, and soul, and reflects our perceptions of the world, others, and ourselves. It guides us, criticizes us, supports us, and impacts our decisions. Our “inner voice” often influences our moods and determines if we are happy, sad, relaxed, worried, optimistic, or helpless. Because self-talk is the “voice” we hear most, it has more influence on us and can impact our future more than anything else.
It’s estimated that 80% of what the average person says to him/herself is harmful, pessimistic, and undermining.
Ask yourself and consider:
Are you willing to easily accept less than perfection from yourself?
Do you give yourself permission to do less than 100%?
What do you say to yourself when you make a mistake? Do you give yourself a hard time?
How can you be more compassionate with yourself?
Is “should” one of the most prominent words in your vocabulary? Do you hear yourself often saying, “I should be working”, “I should go on a diet”, “I should get that done”, etc.
Stop shoulding on yourself!
Do you compliment yourself when you look in the mirror?
What are some lovely things you can say to yourself, even on your worst day?
Do you give yourself praise for your accomplishments?
Don’t wait for someone else to pat you on the back. Know you are already enough.
Are you uncomfortable accepting compliments? Do you brush off the compliment and say something negative about yourself or give the credit to someone else?
Just smile and say, ‘Thank you.”
Do you ever say things to yourself that you would never say to a friend because it would hurt his/her feelings?
Speak to yourself the same way you speak to those who you hold very near and dear to your heart. You deserve nothing less.
Do you ever hear words of a critical parent, family member or boss out of your mouth- directed to yourself?
Don’t beat yourself up. Start again. Apologize to yourself and take a moment and think of something kind and loving to say.
Before reacting to the ONE thing you did not do correctly, remember the times you have been stellar today.
If you “hear” a negative internal message about yourself, stop and provide a positive statement.
Dropped the ball? Let it go. Remind yourself of your true value and potential and move on.
Every time you give someone a compliment, give yourself one too!
Be patient. You’re reprogramming your mind. It takes time, but if you persist, you will be living in a new reality. True reality is not made for us but by us.
Choose an affirmation or two that works for you and write or type it up on beautiful pieces of paper. Place the affirmations in areas around your home and/or work to act as constant reminders.
I type mine up and turn the paper into a tent with a trifold. I place the tent on my bathroom sink and look at it every morning while getting ready.
I’ve even gone so far as to laminate some and hang them in the shower for my kids if I felt they needed a little help. Of course, they thought I was nuts, but it never hurts to teach your kids how to help themselves.
Many people have scripted our self-talk, and the good news is we can re-script it. An affirmation is a statement of fact or belief (positive or negative) that will lead toward the end result you expect.
When feeding our minds positive affirmations the programming in our minds changes. Michael Phelps talks of this when he “goes to the video” each morning as he prepares to train. Professional athletes and business people have used the technique of affirmations for years to increase their performance and success.
Here are some examples of affirmations created by Robert Egby. Have fun creating your own. These will get you started. Good luck and remember, think well and be well. Which one will you choose for yourself today? Expect tomorrow’s to be different.
I am positive, confident and radiate good things
I have energy, enthusiasm, and vitality
I am totally relaxed and confident. When I am relaxed I achieve more.
I realize that time is my most valuable resource, so I carefully use it on only what is important to me.
I am a professional, respected person, fully capable of earning a professional, respected income.
I attract success into my life. I deserve everything that success brings.
I really am very special. I like who I am and I feel good about myself.
I was designed and created, in body and mind, to achieve.
I am a person of quality and strength. I deserve success.
I always look for ways I can get something done instead of finding reasons why I cannot.
I always listen to those around me and work to understand their needs.
I enjoy showing others the best of themselves. I always accept them at their best.
I have strength, absolute determination, and limitless endurance in the pursuit of my goals.
Everyday, in every way, I feel better and better.
I am calm and confident. I have the quiet self-assurance of winning in my life.
I have inner peace. I am living my life in a positive and worthwhile way.
I have purpose and value in my life. I love who I am and I enjoy being me.
I love and accept myself completely as I am.
I am intelligent. My mind is quick and alert and clever and fun.
I think good thoughts, and my mind makes things work right for me.
I am able to see a precise picture of exactly what my goals are in everything I do and what I must do to achieve each of them.
Because winning takes energy, good health, and a strong, positive attitude, I make sure that I keep myself fit-both mentally and physically.
I take full responsibility for everything about me, even the thoughts I think.
I always visualize myself being at my absolute best in every part o my personal/professional life.
I learn from everything I do and everyone I meet.
My mind is clear and alert. It is capable of meeting any challenge I place before it.
I have excellent powers of concentration. I attune all my senses to the subject at hand, and I am able to focus my attention more and more easily each day.
I am creative. I like to find new and interesting ways to do things in my life.
Every day, something new and interesting happens in my life.
I like myself and I like my goals. I am moving forward in my life.
You may want to get yourself a copy of Louise Hay’s book, Heal Your Body A-Z. In addition to having beautiful artwork, each page is structured with three columns:
Ailments which are listed from A-Z
An explanation of what’s happening in your s as a result of your ailment
An Affirmation that aids in creating a SHIFT in mindset set, which will aid to rid the body of the ailment.
Every person managing adversity should be fortunate enough to be surrounded by compassionate and loving family and friends. I was that lucky. I am a mother of two wonderful children. At the time of my diagnosis, my daughter was beginning her freshman year in high school. My son was entering seventh grade. Their dad was absolutely amazing managing a home, their schooling, work, and taking care of me in and out of the hospital (often times with his eyes half-open).
One piece often overlooked when one is not well, is the health and wellness of the caregivers. They need just as much TLC because they’re burning the candle at both ends.
I am truly blessed to be surrounded by loving and supportive family and friends. Everyone from the kids’ classmates and soccer families to my parents, siblings, family friends, and neighbors took care of our children. Thanks to the generosity of my neighborhood, we had a hot meal on our table every evening…dessert included! What else could I ask for? I know what, colleagues who showed their love through cards and letters, pictures and signs to hang in my hospital room and baskets and baskets of goodies. So, so, so blessed!